The Bro's Code

The Bro's Code: A Guide To What (sorta) Matters

The Bro (me) is a freelance writer (currently available for hire by the way) on a mission to make this world a better place through a series of Guides for Men (and women) on just about anything and everything you can imagine. There's nothing I won't talk about or comment on. You can try me at thebroscode@yahoo.com

Mailbag Monday errrr Tuesday!

Dear The Bro,

Which NFL players on new teams do you see having major fantasy impact for the upcoming season? 

- Ryan

Wow, it only took about a month, but finally we get a question from a guy, for guys, to be appreciated for the most part by guys.  Having said that, I still say for all you ladies out there, read on.  It never hurts to know what the opposite sex is up to.

Well that was pretty sexist of me.  Who’s to say the women out there can’t be interested for the sake of wanting to know how to win their Fantasy Football Leagues?  I suppose I am.  That’s right ladies, I am throwing down the gauntlet.  How many of you would be interested in joining The Bro’s Code Fantasy Football League?  Myself vs. all of you.  I say I win.  Any of you up to the challenge?

In the meantime, even knowing that you can use this info against me, I will give my analysis of what NFL players on new teams (excluding rookies) will have the most fantasy impact.  Before I do though, is it me or was there really very little in the way of big free agent signings and such in this off-season?  I mean the guys I do list here are not exactly marquee names.  But the top 3 I believe that will make a difference are:

Michael Turner - Atlanta RB.  With Warrick Dunn out of the picture and Matt Ryan taking the helm at QB, Turner has the chance to be special.  It will probably be tough going at first, as most teams will stack up against Turner to see what the rookie Ryan can do.  Keep in mind though, when Turner would come into games for San Diego, the game was typically decided to the point where the defense knew SD was going to be running the ball, and he still would rip off huge runs. 

Jeremy Shockey - New Orleans TE.  Shockey gets to re-team with Sean Payton and his high powered offensive ways.  I think Shockey gets a bit of a bad rap in the sense that many feel he is overrated.  But take a look at the guys numbers since he came into the league.  He’s easily put up top 5 numbers over that span.  And with Marques Colston at WR and Reggie Bush being a focus for the defense, especially on 3rd downs, look for Shockey to take advantage of some huge openings in the secondary at times.  That and sending a message to the NY Giants for trading him adds up to a big year for Shockey.

Dante Stallworth - Cleveland WR.  With the way Cleveland scored last season (and they had to based on the defense they put on the field), you can expect some pretty good numbers from Stallworth.  They are going to be airing it out quite a bit, and I think most of the league is going to be focusing on Braylon Edwards, who exploded last year.  He won’t put up #1 receiver numbers, but he’ll be worthy of a start most weeks.

Some of the also rans:

Kevin Jones - Chicago RB.  With Benson out of the picture could make a splash.

Pacman Jones - Dallas CB.  If you get Special Teams thrown in with Defense, the Cowboys D becomes that much more valuable.

Bernard Berrian - Minnesota WR.  A legitimate deep threat for QB Tavaris Jackson.  Also with Frerotte waiting in the wings, could be a second half pickup.

Julius Jones / TJ Duckett - Seattle RB’s.  Jones will probably take over for Shaun Alexander, but if he was any good he would have held off Marion Barber don’t you think?  Duckett is nothing more than a short yardage and goal-line back.

Warrick Dunn - Tampa Bay RB.  Solid back, but tough to expect much from at this stage in his career.

Alge Crumpler - Tennessee TE.  Another big target for QB Vince Young.  However this is an offense that has struggled with the aerial attack so don’t expect much.

Mike Martz - San Fran OC.  With Martz taking over the offensive reigns in San Fran, you can bump up most offensive guys a few notches.  The only problem is that they were all ranked so low to begin with, so even that doesn’t make them draft-worthy.  (Except for Frank Gore of course.)

Anyone else that I missed or that you guys can think of?  And how many of you of the female persuasion want to take part in the Fantasy Football challenge?

Is there something you want The Bro to discuss?  Email him here!

Comments (View)

Where is The Bro?

Hi Everyone,

Sorry that I wasn’t able to post today, but please stay tuned (as in like, the next day or two) for some breaking news, some interesting stuff, and a Mailbag Monday (on Tuesday).

See you all then!

The Bro

Comments (View)

The Bro’s Code: Pick of the Week

Believe it or not, I actually had to choose between two things for this week’s PotW, and I probably went with the choice many of you would not have expected.  Book 10 (which incorporates the conclusion to one of my favorite series of all time) of Y: The Last Man actually came in second this week.  And if you haven’t gotten on board with Yorick and his crew, you really need to go here and get the first book.  I promise you will not be disappointed.  How many times do I need to say it?  Would it help if I told you that they recently announced plans to put it up on the big screen?  And that Shia LaBeouf is tabbed to play the lead?  Eh?  Peaking your interest?

Now for what acutally made the number one spot for this week.  If you haven’t gone here already, you absolutely HAVE to check out Joss Whedon’s (Buffy, Firefly, the upcoming Dollhouse) amazingly awesome online webisodes of Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.  This is pretty much in line with what he did in the musical episode of Buffy, only in 3 acts, each of which is being released over the last few days.  Act 3 will be put online tomorrow, and then on Sunday they all will disappear for good.  So go check it out now!  Where else can you see Neil Patrick Harris playing an evil scientist that video blogs and sings?  Nowhere I tell you!

That’s right people, NPH!  Check it out here.  You won’t be sorry!  Let me know what you guys think.  Is it as funny/awesome as I think it is?

Comments (View)

Time to Vote: The Bro’s Code Year Old Movie Review

Okay everyone, now that I’ve gotten out this past weekend’s review, it’s that time again.  Time to decide which film that came out one year ago you can punish me with by making me watch and review it.  It’s kind of like MST3K, only without the sidekick robots. 

Here are the movies that came out this coming weekend, one year ago.  As always, please leave your votes for which movie you would most like to see me tortured by watching reviewed in the comments section. 

Goya’s Ghosts(2006) R

Initially favored by royalty, Spanish painter Francisco Goya (Stellan Skarsgård) is targeted by the Spanish Inquisition when he paints young Inés (Natalie Portman), whom the church views as a heretic. Twenty years later, Inés is released from the dungeon and requests Goya’s help in finding the daughter she bore while imprisoned. Javier Bardem and Randy Quaid also star in Academy Award-winning director Milos Forman’s epic true story.

Hairspray(2007) PG

Set in 1962, this colorful adaptation of the Tony-winning musical (spawned by director John Waters’ cult classic of the same name) follows ambitious teen Tracy Turnblad (Nikki Blonsky), who tries to integrate a racially divided Baltimore one watusi at a time. The film’s star-studded cast includes John Travolta, Queen Latifah, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, Allison Janney, James Marsden and Amanda Bynes.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry(2007) PG-13

Firefighters Chuck Ford (Adam Sandler) and Larry Allensworth (Kevin James) are guy’s guys, loyal to the core — which is why when widower Larry asks Chuck to pose as his gay lover so that he can get domestic partner benefits for his kids, his buddy agrees. Things get dicey, however, when a bureaucrat comes calling, and the boys are forced to present a picture of domestic bliss in this comedy co-starring Dan Aykroyd and Steve Buscemi.

Sunshine(2007) R

With Earth’s life source — the sun — dying out 50 years in the future, it seems the planet’s days may be numbered in this sci-fi thriller starring Cillian Murphy and Michelle Yeoh. Humanity’s only hope lies with a crew of astronauts transporting a device that will revitalize the sun. But an accident, a deadly error and a distress signal from a vessel that vanished years ago leave the cosmonauts fighting for survival … and for their sanity.

Comments (View)

The Bro’s Code Year Old Movie Review: Captivity

Way to ripoff the Han Solo frozen in carbonite look.

I have to admit, this movie wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

No, that’s not a compliment.  What I mean by the above statement, is that I thought a “tense chiller” like Captivity would have way more scary, shocking, disgusting moments than it did.  Overall except for a couple of sick freak scenes I found the movie to be pretty tame.

On the plus side, the movie doesn’t take long to get going.  I’d say within the first five to ten minutes that Elisha Cuthbert is in her cage, and things get going from there.  Sadly that’s about the only positive for this film.  And hey I’m all for “suspending disbelief” when watching a film, but what well known fashion model thinks to herself, “Hi, I’m a hot blonde model, I think I’ll park my car in a deserted dark back alley that I’ll have to walk to late at night.”  Or better yet, “Hi, I’m a hot blonde model, I’m going to a bar and drinking whatever anyone hands me and then walking down a hallway where nobody (except for the bad guy) can find me.”

I mean even the girl who once found herself being hunted by mountain lions should be able to know better than that, right?

Some other random thoughts while watching the movie:

I’ve never did see “Saw” (jeez how do you not make “see-saw” jokes here?) but I have to assume this is just a blatant rip-off.  And not a good one at that.

So model-girl is in a cage.  A captive.  A prisoner!  But she’s wearing 10 inch heeled shoes?  By choice?  I guess they were really comfortable 10 inch heeled shoes.

Spoiler Alert!!  This movie just gives models an even dumber name.  The guy in the cage next door?  Definitely the bad guy.  Not even a doubt in my mind that he plants himself there to bang her, and then turns out to be the killer.  Update: I was right.  About everything.

To be honest, I wish this movie had been either much much better, or much much worse.  I’d rather review a movie that goes to one of those extremes instead of being as blah as this film was.  Then again, the fact that it tries so hard to be a “tense chiller” and just comes off as “blah” is really all the review you need. 

My rating for this film (and all films I review) will be based on how long it took for me to look at the DVD player to see how long I had been watching.  In this case it was 32 minutes.  The film being 85 minutes running total, means it scores a 32 out of 85.

Comments (View)

Mailbag Monday!

Hey Bro, What is the most non-Bro-y show you secretly enjoy to watch?

-Lulu

Why is it that I’m writing a blog that is supposed to be geared towards GUYS and yet the first two mailbags I’m putting out (heh heh, I said ‘putting out’) are from emails I received from WOMEN?  Is it me?  Am I secreting some kind of female-ish pheromones through the web?  Don’t get me wrong, beggars can’t be choosers when it comes to who his readers are, but come on GUYS, help a The Bro out!

As for you Lulu, you probably didn’t think I’d have the guts to answer this question, did you?  Maybe if you asked me this question 8-10 years ago I wouldn’t have answered it.  And not because I wouldn’t have had the guts, moreso because I didn’t watch any shows that could qualify.  (Saved by the Bell reruns don’t count, right?)  In any case, the reason that I can answer now is for one simple reason.  I’m married, and despite my numerous attempts to make it otherwise, we only have one television in our living room.  So at times I am asked forced to watch shows I normally wouldn’t. 

The most non-Bro-y show that I watch and secretly enjoy? 

Wow, actually finding it harder to say this than I thought it would be.

Must…

fight…

urge…

Okay okay!  Here it is. 

Yeah I really don’t want to do this.  Damn you Lulu!!

Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood.  There!  Are you happy now?  I admit it, Tori and Dean are both very cool people and watching their (mis)adventures can be somewhat entertaining.  Throw in the fact that they both seem to be very very good parents (a The Bro’s Code must) and well it’s hard not to like them.  Please keep in mind that I would never have watched this if I wasn’t coerced!

Wow, I feel so emasculated.  But as long as the damn has been cracked, may as well let the floodgates open, right?  So here are some other non-Bro-y shows that I watch and enjoy and why they didn’t make the top spot:

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List: Definitely non-Bro-y enough, but I don’t like it as much as Tori and Dean.  I don’t know, doesn’t have the heart that T&D does.  Or something.

So You Think You Can Dance?: Yes, yes, it’s a dance show.  But what Bro doesn’t like watching half naked women prance around a stage, especially when your wife not only is okay with it but encourages it?  Which is exactly why it doesn’t get top honors.

Project Runway: Actually this is probably the non-Bro-y show I like most of all, but it can’t win because it’s a highly challenging competition with huge stakes on the line.  As a Bro I can get behind that.  (Wow that last sentence is really bad taken out of context.)

So there you have it.  Hopefully you all apprecaite that extra special glimpse into my life.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go watch the Spike network for the next 72 hours straight.  (So You Think You Can Dance comes on after that.)

Is there something you want The Bro to discuss?  Email him here!

Comments (View)

The Bro’s Code Pick of the Week

In an attempt to continue making the world a better place, I’m going to do my best to steer you all towards the good things out there and away from the bad things.  This week, I suggest you all pick up the hilarious (apologies to KG) Michael Ian Black’s book “My Custom Van And 50 Other Mind-Blowing Essays that Will Blow Your Mind All Over Your Face”.  You can even read an excerpt from it here.  If you’re a Billy Joel fan (and who isn’t?) you really have to check it out.

Be on the lookout for my “Captivity” review.  I know I can’t wait.

Comments (View)

Greatest Fake Tournament Ever (Part 2)

Continuing on yesterday’s post, here’s who I voted for in the first round of RedEye’s Best Superhero  Tournament:

NICOLAS CAGE REGION


No. 1 Spider-Man vs. No. 8 Phoenix

As I’ve already stated, Spider-Man is my winner for this tournament hands down.  Though I will say the Phoenix Saga is one of the best X-Men storylines of all time, and let’s face it, Phoenix (Jean Grey) is pretty damn hot.  (No pun intended.  Okay, maybe it was slightly intended.) 


No. 4 Black Panther vs. No. 5 Punisher

This is probably the vote I cared next to least about.  I don’t know much about Black Panther, but I know he did a lot of good with the whole equal opportunity thing.  Still, I’m a Marvel guy.  Punisher.


No. 3 Green Lantern vs. No. 6 Green Arrow

This is the vote I cared least about.  How little did I care about this matchup?  I didn’t vote.  And since I didn’t vote I see no need to break it down for everyone.


No. 2 Iron Man vs. No. 7 Elektra

The only reason why Elektra even made this tourney is because they made a movie recently.  Otherwise I’m not even sure anyone knows who she is.  The problem?  They made a really really bad movie.  Gotta go with Iron Man for that reason alone.



ROSARIO DAWSON REGION

Before I even get to the matchups, why does Rosario Dawson have a region?  They couldn’t go Jack Kirby?  Hell I’d take a Hanna-Barbara Region before this one.


No. 1 Wolverine vs. No. 8 Sub-Mariner

Hey Bub, was there ever any doubt who I be voting for here?  Now I know I’m against the whole ‘indestructable’ thing, but Wolvie isn’t invulnerable, he just has a healing power.  Okay okay, so technically his bones are indestructable but that’s not his fault.  Besides, he still gets his ass kicked all the time.  He just bounces back.


No. 4 Hellboy vs. No. 5 Daredevil

Believe it or not, I’m going against Marvel on this one.  Daredevil in the comics is actually great, but I can’t get the movie out of my head.  It were bad.  It were very very bad.  Whereas Hellboy were good, very very good.  And I’ll take a smartass hero any day.

No. 3 Hulk vs. No. 6 Aquaman

Aquaman?  Please.  I don’t even like the Hulk.  I’m just not voting for Aquaman.


No. 2 Catwoman vs. No. 7 Kitty Pryde

Gotta go with the X-Man err Woman on this one.  Not to mention Juno played her in the films.  Wouldn’t be surprised to see her role expanded quite a bit in whatever next film they come up with for that very reason. 

Next week: The Sweet Sixteen

Is there something you want The Bro to discuss?  Email him here!

Comments (View)

Greatest Fake Tournament Ever

Big thanks to The Bro’s Code reader Rebecca J. for the heads up on this tournament that has been designed to find out who is the greatest Super-Hero of all time.  (With apologies to Fonzworth Bentley, James Bond did not make the cut.)

I can tell you all right now that in my mind there has never been a greater Super-hero than Spider-Man.  He’ll always be my favorite, and most of that has absolutely nothing to do with his powers.  The duality of Spider-Man dealing with Super-Baddies along with Peter Parker dealing with the Super-Baddies of everyday life was something that most other comics have tried to emulate, but could never duplicate.  The complex story-lines, the incredible characters, the quick wit, and the ability to have the hero win the day, yet lose on a personal level just can’t be topped.

Having said all that, I don’t see how he can win this Tournament.  I think due to the timing of it, Batman will take it down (maybe not the best choice of words when you consider Robin) in large part thanks to The Dark Knight which is due to release next weekend.  (Planting a one-year seed, vote for that next year!)

I’m going to tell you all how I voted and why.  So now would be a good idea to head over to the tourney and cast your votes.  I wouldn’t want to influence any of you after all.

STAN LEE REGION

No. 1 Superman vs. No. 8 Mr. Fantastic

Even though I know he will lose, I still have to go with Reed Richards here.  I’ve always been a marvel guy, and I’ve always hated the fact that Superman is as invulnerable as he is.  Yeah, yeah, kryptonite, big deal.  I’ll take the smartest guy in the universe over the most indestructible anyday.  Besides, who the hell names their dog “Krypto”?  “Hi, I’m Rich, here’s my dog Eartho.”  S

See how lame that is?


No. 4 Capt. America vs. No. 5 Capt. Marvel

Again, the whole indestructible thing is working against Captain Marvel here.  I’m not a huge fan of Captain America, but I do respect the fact that he’s a born leader and really has zero powers to speak of.  Throw in the fact that he carries a shield (totally speaks to the D&D side of me) and would kick ass at ultimate frisbee and you have my vote.


No. 3 The Thing vs. No. 6 The Shadow

I’ve never even read “The Shadow” but I do remember that they made a really crappy movie based on it.  That notwithstanding, I’d give it to Marvel’s version of Ol’ Blue Eyes every time.  And is there a better catch phrase than “It’s Clobbering Time”?  I think not.

FYI, that all meant that I’m voting for The Thing.


No. 2 Wonder Woman vs. No. 7 Spawn

I’ll probably get abused for this, but I went with Wonder Woman on this one.  I just can’t get the scene from Scrubs out of my head where Heather Graham is playing Wonder Woman and she ropes The Todd with her lasso of truth.  The Todd is forced to admit: “I once had a three-way.  And not the cool kind.” 

Now that’s power.



KEVIN SMITH REGION


No. 1 Batman vs. No. 8 The Spirit

My prediction to win it all, I think you have to go with Batman here.  I seem to think that The Spirit is yet another crappy movie that got made at some point.  But that could just be me confusing him with The Shadow.  Either way they’re both weak.  The Dark Knight wins.


No. 4 Thor vs. No. 5 Buffy The Vamp. Slayer

Sticking with the female thing, I voted for Buffy here.  Yeah Thor can come in handy when you have some drywall to put up (get it? he has a hammer?) but Buffy has had a successful movie, television series, and now is living on in the comic world.  Not to mention her creator, Joss Whedon, writes some of the best dialogue there is.  Gotta go with the pop-culture references.  Besides, I don’t think Thor ever had anybody follow HIM home from The Coffee Bean…


No. 3 Silver Surfer vs. No. 6 Popeye

Popeye?  Are you freakin’ kidding me?  I can name about a hundred more worthy SUPER-Heroes over Popeye.  This is just a joke.  I don’t even like Silver Surfer and I’m going to vote for him just on principal.  They may as well thrown Strawberry Shortcake in here.


No. 2 The Flash vs. No. 7 Flash Gordon

My guess is that The Flash will win this round, though I never got the appeal.  He’s really really fast.  Great.  How do the women folk like that by the way?  I mean this guy must got ripped on in the Superhero locker room, right?  Flash Gordon had Queen do the entire soundtrack to his movie.  ‘Nuff Said.

I’ll be back later with Part 2 of how I voted.  Stay tuned!

Comments (View)

The Bro’s Code Year-old Movie Review: Joshua

Her: “Is this a horror movie?”

Me: “It’s thrillerish.”

Three words.  Worst.  Movie.  Ever. 

But don’t worry Joshua lovers, based on how the voting has been going for the Year-old Movie Review, I get the feeling that there will be worse movies than this that I end up having the pleasure of watching.

The basic storyline for the film is that Sam Rockwell and his wife have a new baby girl, their second child.  Joshua, their first child, is a piano virtuoso and is already being primed to skip two grades in school.  But this kid isn’t just smart, he’s very very awkward.  I don’t mean that in an Emo Phillips kind of way, I mean it in a “Hi I’m Ryan Phillippe, Reese how could you leave me?  Yes that’s me standing outside your window all hours of the day and night.  I want you back Reese.  If I can’t have you no one can.  You hear me?  NO ONE” kind of way.

Unhappy with all of the attention being heaped on his baby sister, Joshua starts doing things to upset his otherwise happy family.  (Which really begs the question, if this kid is so smart, why doesn’t he get it that babies need lots of attention?  Huh?)  The typical story unfolds, mom goes crazy, grandma has ”an accident” and Dad is left trying to protect the baby and himself from the mastermind genius that is 9 year old Joshua.  I won’t reveal the “shocking” ending (though I don’t know who I’m protecting from spoilers as none of you will see this film, ever) but let’s just say that in the battle of wits, Sam Rockwell does not come out on top.

Here are some problems (Problems?  Shocker I know…) I had with this film: 

- For one, what is Sam Rockwell doing in this film?  Is he really that desperate for work?  Is there no casting director that can see the genius he displayed in Galaxy Quest?  And why is Mike McKean in this movie at all?  Was he doing someone a favor?  He’s completely wasted in this film, appearing for maybe 5 minutes, and playing the proto-typical hardass boss.  Not even in a remotely funny way.

- One of the things that “triggers” Joshua is when he watches some old video from when he was a baby.  The video is really just scenes of the Mother being very upset because Joshua is always crying.  These are not happy scenes, and one is of the mom literally going mental to herself in a mirror.  My question is, who would keep this video?  Nobody.  That’s who. 

- Here’s a random scene.  “Hi, I’m Sam Rockwell.  My son is incredibly awkward and troubled, my wife is crazy and two scenes away from being instituionalized.  I think I’ll go ahead and search ‘sexy horny naked women explicit sex’ on google.” 

- Yes that really happened in this film.  The true disappointment is that we don’t get to see what sites pop up.

- In the end, Rockwell is outwitted by a nine year old, and falls for some tricks that are so blatantly obvious, especially when you consider the fact that Rockwell was already onto Joshua.  Fake bruises on the back?  What else could they be there for?  I mean he just can’t be that dumb. 

My rating for this film (and all films I review) will be based on how long it took for me to look at the DVD player to see how long I had been watching.  In this case it was 24 minutes.  The film being 106 minutes running total, means it scores a 24 out of 106.

Tune in for my next review, which at this point looks like it will be “Captivity”.  (I hate you people.)

Comments (View)

The Bro’s Code Interview: Fonzworth Bentley

As you all are no doubt already aware, MTV’s upcoming “From G’s to Gents” has quickly become a huge fan favorite here at The Bro’s Code.  And as I am always striving to bring you the big names in the world of Pop Culture today, I was able to pull some strings over at MTV and get the King of Gents himself, Mr. Fonzworth Bentley on the phone for some Q&A.  Mr. Bentley was kind enough to talk about his upcoming reality show, drop some fashion knowledge on us, and even give us the low down on whose style reigns supreme between Sean Combs and Kanye West.  Read this.

The Bro’s Code: Tell me about the genesis of the project how did you get hooked up with Jamie Foxx and Chris Abrego Productions?

Fonzworth Bentley: Well I’ve known Jamie Foxx since 2002, and funny enough he’s always wanted to do something together.  Essentially what happened is Jamie pitched the show, and Chris has been extremely successful in the reality world, so they took it to the production company, and then I got the call.  I had written a book that came out last fall and so I had already been on message for this topic for some time now.  I wanted to make sure that this was going to be something real and not just throwing some guys into some situations and make it a fish out of water.  That’s not what I was interested in.  I don’t care how much money they threw at me.

TBC: I’ve heard that you’ve turned down other reality show offers that you’ve been approached to do before.  What was it about this show that made you decide “this is for me”?

FB: To not even be funny, I’ve turned down probably three reality shows a week for the past three years.  I’m not even overstating it.  This is something I’ve been passionate about.  It’s why I put out the etiquette book.  Once I saw that they really wanted to show some folks making some real transformations, and that they were serious about that, that was the selling point for me.

TBC: So how much direct input and influence did you have on the show?

FB: Jamie said to me, “this is your show.  For these guys, you are their mentor and they’re going to be looking up to you.”  So that meant a lot to me.  For me this was an opportunity to have some A-listers come in and make a difference and to show everyone how before your very eyes these guys would have a transformation.  There are some people out there that are not completely ignorant to etiquette, but maybe they don’t know all there is to know.  They see these guys up there and maybe they think that they know someone or have a friend or cousin or themselves are going through a similar situation in life, and this can help them to want to make that change.  I told them that I wanted to edit this in such a way that someone can actually sit there to watch this with a pen and paper and take notes and hopefully learn something.

TBC: Aside from the prize money (100K goes to the ultimate “Gent”) why do you think the guys that took part in this show were willing to make this change in their lives?

FB: They all came in with different reasons, you know.  One of them came in and he was homeless.  The stakes were really high for him.  There was one gentleman who had to start working at the age of 12 just to take care of his Mom, and his brothers and sisters as well.  He wanted to go to school but never got the opportunity.  He had never in his life left Miami.  He hasn’t even been to Disney World.  You know what I mean?

TBC: Wow.

FB: Also, a lot of the gentlemen had kids.  They wanted the experience so they could become better fathers.  Some of them were being deadbeats, and we provided them with an atmosphere where they could be really honest and meet those challenges head on and become better men.  So all of them had different reasons.

TBC: So then when you get right down to it, whose job is it to teach etiquette?  Where does someone without a strong parental presence go to learn about it?

FB: That’s essentially what it’s all about.  I have a couple of answers.  First of all, people should definitely check out my book.  I think even for people that know a lot of this stuff, it’s important for them to pick it up.  Because you know a lot of this is what is going on in America.  There are a lot of people out there with goals, but they don’t know how to go out and achieve them.  And I think when you go down the street and you see that guy with his pants low and you see that guy who uses profanity, instead of turning your nose up at him, it may be an opportunity for you to go and drop a gem on him.  The funny thing that youre going to find is that most people want to learn.  Most people want to learn and that’s what I found with these guys.  And so I think the onus is on all of us.  I know we live in a time when a lot of people are afraid, but you know back in the day the village would raise the child and we have to get back to that ownership of each person taking a part in it.  We really need to get back to that.

TBC: Some of the previous shows that Chris Abrego has done (Flavor of Love, I Love New York, The Surreal Life) don’t get me wrong are great entertainment,  but they are hardly serious studies into the social attitudes of men and women in the world today.  How do you keep ”From G’s to Gents” from sinking to that kind of a level?

FB: Essentially I believe that’s why Jamie and Chris chose me.  They know that I’m serious about this and that this is something that I’m committed to.  It wasn’t like I was some guy looking for a tv show just for the sake of it.  This is something I’ve been doing all along.  I’ve spoken at colleges, anywhere from Harvard to the Wharton School of Business and tons of others for the past 8 or 9 months.  This is something I’m committed to, and by me stepping into those shoes and being that mentor but still having that street credibility, this is something that they really understood.  And we’re living in a time when other guys have done it.  Jay-Z has done it, 50 Cent has done it, Sean Combs has done it, Russell Simmons has done it.  And the first step is that you have to find someone that really truly wants to make a change.  He has to want to be a gentleman.  And as far as the casting, that’s what they did, they chose folks that not only had edges, not only had interesting backgrounds, but folks that honestly wanted to make a change.

TBC: What is it about your background that attracted you to this project?  Were you a “G” that transformed yourself into a Gent somewhere along the way?

FB: Not much “G” here.  I was born and raised and blessed to have two loving parents, who in turn each were blessed to have been raised by their parents.  They took care of both my brother and myself.  This is just something that I have been blessed to have, and have been given, and have been wanting to teach others not only for their business but for their life.  Just like it was taught to me.

TBC: Do you think this is a potential franchise?  Might we be seeing a “From G’s to Gents 2”?

FB: Yes because theres a lot of things we weren’t able to get done, you know what I mean?  How to travel.  That’s a really significant thing.  I would love to take some guys from the streets and go international and have them interact with different cultures.  I think that would be a very interesting dynamic and that is a very real thing.  To be quite frank, those folks coming out of high school, or coming out of college, you’re not just competing with the people coming out of your class, you’re competing with an international marketplace and you have to be prepared for that.  You have to be able to adapt and able to have dialogue on a higher level.  And so I definitely think we have more that we can do with the show.  It would be great to be able to take the reality show and get into that.

TBC: Anything else you didn’t get to cover?

FB: I’d love to take it to where we can get into politics.  A chance to deal with being worldly and knowing what’s going on around you.   But you know that’s why we want to be able to educate folks so they can watch this and learn.  A lot of folks don’t know what’s going on out there and this is some very real stuff.  You know a lot of these guys with aspirations, if they see you there and know you have a website and that youre a journalist and they have the desire to do that, theyre going to run up to you to introduce themselves instead of taking the time to stand there and listen to the conversation that’s being had.  My thing is that by being worldly, they can get to talking politics, they can talk about global warming, they can talk about the things that affect us all, they can get into the conversation and get on message.  And then once they’ve done that they can talk about internships and opportunities and more specifics about who you are.

TBC: Okay, on to the really serious side of this interview.  Some quickshot questions for you.  First, your real name is Derek Watkins.  How did you come about to becoming Fonzworth Bentley?

FB: Hey, on any new job, you’re going to get a nickname.  It just is what it is.  And because I’m in hip-hop culture, most of the people have nicknames.  And they run with them.

TBC: Okay but where did yours originate from?

FB: Well there’s a film with Sidney Poitier and Bill Cosby and the name Biggie Smalls came out of there.  And my name did as well.  We’ll just leave it at that.

(The film he’s referring to is the 1975 release Let’s Do It Again.  Maybe a future Bro’s Code movie review?)

TBC: Who in your opinion is the most stylish Superhero?

FB: Does James Bond qualify?  Can we sneak him in there?  You know I’m all about the clothes and stuff.  Can I sneak him in there?

TBC: Okay, I’ll let you get away with that.   They’re actually making a James Bond graphic novel and so technically that’s a comic book and I’ll let you get away with that.

FB: Alright so I got it on a technicality.  Alright.

TBC: Next question.  It’s really hot today and I’m planning on wearing shorts.  Should I go plaid or should I go solid?

FB: Well you know I would definitely go plaid, I like to use the term “madras”.  I just like that.  I actually had on plaid shorts all weekend and it bled on into the week and you know a lot of folks did for this recent holiday.  Now is a good time to work those plaid shorts but don’t go putting on a plaid shirt with it.

TBC: No no.

FB: Don’t do that.  Put a solid in there.  Find a solid that works good with your skin tone and keep it simple.  Put on a white shirt.  It reflects the suns rays.

TBC: What do you say to someone you see that’s wearing socks with sandals?

FB: You know I think that I’m hoping that they’re not bi-polar.  It could just be that someone is insecure about their feet.  But let me just tell you like this, if everyone is saying to you “nice gators” and you have on flip-flops, it means you need a pedicure.

TBC: Sports Jerseys, yes or no?

FB: At the pool, I like college jerseys.  But if you’re wearing one to go out at night, please, keep it in the gym.

TBC: Bowtie or neck tie?

FB: It depends on your mood bro.  But if youre going to wear a clip-on, you should be dragged out into the streets by it.

TBC: Whats your opinion of “casual Fridays”?

FB: This whole idea of casual Fridays just drives me crazy.  And here’s how I’m going to deal with it.  I’m going to quote John Ford.  You ready?  This is a long one.

TBC: Absolutely.  Hit me.

FB: “In today’s business casual time we pine for a man who instinctively knows that dockers are insidious brainwashing tools and that looking together even when youre falling apart is a form of grace.  And that a suit is still the sexiest thing around.”  Run that.

TBC: I will run that, no question.  Okay, what food chain has the most fashionable employee uniforms

FB: That’s a good one.  Ummm…

TBC: How about Hot Dog on a Stick?  I don’t know if you’ve seen them, but those are some good uniforms right there.

FB: Yeah they need the fashion police over there at Hot Dog on a Stick.  I mean it looks like a Six Flags ride.  The most fashionable?  You know what, I like the shirts and ties they wear at Gramercy Tavern.  Danny Meyer, this is a guy with class, and you know they switched up what they’re doing over there.  And I like what they’re doing over there.  If you haven’t been you need to get in.

TBC: Okay now, strictly pertaining to style, Sean Combs or Kanye West?

FB: Oh now why would you do that?  That’s dirty.  But you know I’ve got to go with ‘Ye though.  I’ve got to go with ‘Ye.

TBC: I’ll make sure I get a copy of this to Sean then.  Okay, next, Aeropostale or Abercrombie?

FB: I’m gonna go with Abercrombie but be careful walking down by their 5th avenue store because they will go crazy on you with the fragrances.  They will blast you.  Even when you’re out on the street they will blast it.

TBC: Christina Aguilera or Gwen Stefani?

FB: I’m going to go with Gwen.

TBC: Really?  I think that’s a bit of an upset.

FB: Well I like the whimsical thing that she’s doing.  Christina is really classy.  But Gwen makes her own clothes.  That gives the edge to her.

TBC: Okay, Calvin Klein or Tommy Hilfiger?

FB: Calvin Klein or Tommy?  (long pause)  I may have to give you a “no comment”.  It’s just too difficult to decide.  It’s a draw.  There it is.  A draw.

TBC: Indiana Jones or Han Solo?

FB: Well which Indiana Jones?  “Temple of Doom” days or “now” days?

TBC: No not the last movie.  That film never happened.  Go with the old Indiana Jones.

FB: You know I want to say Han Solo, but there’s a cowboy in all of us.  There really is.  And the reason I’m going to go with Indiana Jones is because he rocks a Fedora.  I really really respect that.

TBC: Kobe or LeBron?

FB: (incredulous) Well LeBron!  That’s an easy one.

TBC: Okay, last question, and perhaps the most important question of all.  What is the one item of clothing no man should be without?

FB: A navy blazer.  Period.  Point blank.

(All of a sudden we both hear some laughter and applause in the background, and after accusing each other of being the ones to have the lack of etiquette for such a disturbance, we discover that the culprit is the offices of MTV who are celebrating the engagement of one of their employees.)

TBC: Okay, bonus question.  So long as we’re on the subject, what’s your take on engagement rings?  How small is too small and how big is too big?

FB: You know what?  I’m going to stay out of that.

TBC: Well that’s just good etiquette.

From G’s to Gents premieres July 15th on MTV.  Check your local listings for times.

Comments (View)

The Bro’s Code Year Old Movie Review

I know you are all (and by all I mean the three of you that actually read this site) eagerly anticipating my review of “Joshua”.  Almost as much as I am anticipating actually receiving it from Netflix.  I supposebly (thank you Joey) will be getting it today, so I should have the review up for you guys tomorrow.

In the meantime, it’s time for you all to vote for the next movie I review.  Just to refresh, I will review one of the movies that were released the same weekend exactly one year ago.  Please post your votes in the comments page section.  In the event of a tie, I will decide the winner based on a highly specialized formula I have developed involving box office, star power, script intrigue, and many other factors.  I call this highly top secret formula:

“The lesser of two evils”. 

Here are your contenders for the upcoming weekend:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix(2007) PG-13 

Returning for his fifth year of study at the venerable Hogwarts, youthful wizard Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is stunned to find that that his warnings about the return of the evil Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) have been ignored. Left with no choice, Harry takes matters into his own hands, training a small group of students — dubbed “Dumbledore’s Army” (after the school’s headmaster) — to defend themselves against the dark arts.

Captivity(2007) UR

After a night of drunken decadence, self-absorbed fashion model Jennifer (Elisha Cuthbert) awakens to find herself locked in a cellar, along with fellow prisoner Gary (Daniel Gillies). As the two try to escape, their invisible, voyeuristic captor — who has a penchant for sadistic mind games — is watching every move they make. But all may not what it seems in this tense chiller directed by Roland Joffé.

Interview(2007) R

Hard-nosed journalist Pierre Peters (Steve Buscemi) is forced by his editor to interview seemingly vapid soap opera star Katya (Sienna Miller). The pair initially clash, but soon discover that there’s more to each than meets the eye in this provocative exploration of conflicting worldviews and the battle of the sexes. The film examines — and explodes — the assumptions we make about others before we get to know them.

Lights in the Dusk Laitakaupungin valot(2005) NR

Shy night security guard Koistinen (Janne Hyytiäinen) leads a lonely life, unaware of the affections of Aila (Maria Heiskanen), who runs a food truck where he buys dinner every evening. But when a mysterious beauty (Maria Järvenhelmi) walks into his life, Koistinen takes a turn onto a dark path. Helmed by renowned Finnish director Aki Kaurismäki, this stylish film noir was nominated for a Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival.

Shortcut to Happiness(2007) PG-13

Based on Stephen Vincent Benét’s short story “The Devil and Daniel Webster,” this big-screen adaptation stars Alec Baldwin as a desperate author who sells his soul to the devil (Jennifer Love Hewitt) to get his work published. Driven to distraction by the success of a friend (Dan Aykroyd), writer Jabez Stone (Baldwin) soon regrets the Faustian bargain and enlists a famous orator (Anthony Hopkins) to defend him in court against Old Scratch.

Talk to Me(2007) R

Oscar nominee Don Cheadle stars as real-life radio trailblazer Ralph “Petey” Greene, a high-school dropout and charismatic ex-con who leveraged a prison disc jockey gig into a stint at a Washington, D.C., radio station, a television show and an invitation to the White House. Chiwetel Ejiofor, Martin Sheen, Cedric the Entertainer and Taraji P. Henson also star in this compelling biopic from director Kasi Lemmons.

Just remember people, the idea behind this is that you will get to hear about a movie you may have heard about but didn’t get to see.  Try to vote for the ones that at least sound interesting!  Not the ones that will torture me the most! 

Comments (View)

Mailbag Monday!

Mailbag Monday!

Hey everyone, recently yours truly (The Bro) got his first piece of mail asking a serious question that I think many people (mostly women) wonder about.  You know, part of why I started this website was to be a beacon of hope to these troubled people with troubled questions.  To provide answers and guidance in their storm of confusion.  To help men and women relate in a sense of common unity.  To…  well you get the point. 

Why do mailbags on Monday?  Because it’s alliterative!  Why else?  Here’s the question:

Dear The Bro, Why do guys like violence so much (a la Mixed Martial Arts, Ultimate Fighting Championship) — what’s the draw in seeing someone get their head bashed in?

-Jersey GirlBecause I refuse to show the movie poster.

First of all, I really hope that you’re actually writing from Jersey, and that you’re not a Kevin Smith fan.  Then again how could you be?  No true fan would ever put those two words together on purpose ever again.  Just like they all avoid any word starting with the letters G-I-G…  He didn’t even have anything to do with that film and still somehow it tainted him.

But I digress.  To get back to your question, I think you misinterpret what it is guys like so much about MMA, UFC, and all the like.  It has nothing to do with guys wanting to see someone get their head bashed in.  That would mean we as a gender enjoy senseless violence.  Of course we do not.  (I don’t care how many 5 year old boys you see stomping on bugs or lighting ants on fire with a magnifying glass.  That’s not senseless violence, that’s science!  Discovery!)

The reason why guys like MMA and UFC so much is because as a race, fighting is the purest form of debate we have.  That’s right!  It’s not about the fighting, it’s about debate!  Guys love debate!  The art of forming an opinion or hypothesis and then arguing for or against it.  That is what guys love.  That’s why we hold historical figures like Socrates and Plato in such high regard.  It’s why we hold debates before every Presidential election.  It’s why we ask questions like “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?”  It’s not because we actually care which came first, we just enjoy fighting debating about it.Never turn your back on this guy in a debate.

Now where does the violence come in?  It’s really very simple.  Many times when debating, we come to what is usually termed “a stalemate” between both sides.  It is in these rare instances when the oral form of debate will do no more good, that the physical form of debate must take over.  Yes we love Socrates for his ability to wordsmith his way to victory in the great debates and philosophical discussions of his time.  But what many do not know is that when he found himself up against a formidable opponent, he would often slam a stone tablet over his head, rendering his adversary unconcious and claiming victory for himself.

Imagine if you will, two cavemen of the past face each other with a true question of the ages:  Is it “gunga ooga gunga”?  Or is it “ooga gunga ooga”?  The debate lasts many hours, each voicing his concerns for why it should be the way he thinks.  Each of them gesture, hoot, and holler to try and sway the other to their way of thinking…Why do you think this guy played a lawyer in the sketches?  Debate!

The final decision?  It was “gunga ooga gunga”.  Why?  Because the first caveman clubbed the second one over the head.  Stalemate (and noggin) broken.  And thus debate was born.

So the next time your guy wants to watch UFC or MMA or any other form of what you consider “senseless violence”, just remember he isn’t watching fighting or boxing or wrestling.  He’s watching debate.  Debate in it’s purest form.  You should smile knowing that in doing so, he is celebrating some of the greatest thinkers of our or any generation. 

You should also get him a beer from the fridge.

Is there something you want The Bro to discuss?  Email him here!

Comments (View)

Bill Pullman’s greatest moment as an actor.  (Well, that and defeating Dark Helmet.)

Comments (View)

And The Winner Is…

Well based on the voting (and man what a ton of votes we got!) there was actually a tie between Joshua and Introducing the Dwights for this weekend’s Year-Old Movie Review.  And though I know that I’m going to regret this decision in the long run (rule number 1 to any happy marriage is keep the wife happy) I have to go with….

Joshua as the winner!  I mean neither story sounds especially appealing, but when comparing the casts, I find it hard to not go with Sam Rockwell and Michael McKean, two of my favorites.  (Side note: Why doesn’t Sam Rockwell work more?  The guy is a phenomenal actor!  He can do drama, comedy, apparently suspense but I’ll let you know that after the weekend.  I think he needs to fire his agent and seek new representation.  He should be scoring Ed Norton type roles.)

Look for the movie review next week!

Comments (View)