Greatest Fake Tournament Ever
Big thanks to The Bro’s Code reader Rebecca J. for the heads up on this tournament that has been designed to find out who is the greatest Super-Hero of all time. (With apologies to Fonzworth Bentley, James Bond did not make the cut.)
I can tell you all right now that in my mind there has never been a greater Super-hero than Spider-Man. He’ll always be my favorite, and most of that has absolutely nothing to do with his powers. The duality of Spider-Man dealing with Super-Baddies along with Peter Parker dealing with the Super-Baddies of everyday life was something that most other comics have tried to emulate, but could never duplicate. The complex story-lines, the incredible characters, the quick wit, and the ability to have the hero win the day, yet lose on a personal level just can’t be topped.
Having said all that, I don’t see how he can win this Tournament. I think due to the timing of it, Batman will take it down (maybe not the best choice of words when you consider Robin) in large part thanks to The Dark Knight which is due to release next weekend. (Planting a one-year seed, vote for that next year!)
I’m going to tell you all how I voted and why. So now would be a good idea to head over to the tourney and cast your votes. I wouldn’t want to influence any of you after all.
STAN LEE REGION
No. 1 Superman vs. No. 8 Mr. Fantastic
Even though I know he will lose, I still have to go with Reed Richards here. I’ve always been a marvel guy, and I’ve always hated the fact that Superman is as invulnerable as he is. Yeah, yeah, kryptonite, big deal. I’ll take the smartest guy in the universe over the most indestructible anyday. Besides, who the hell names their dog “Krypto”? “Hi, I’m Rich, here’s my dog Eartho.” S
See how lame that is?
No. 4 Capt. America vs. No. 5 Capt. Marvel
Again, the whole indestructible thing is working against Captain Marvel here. I’m not a huge fan of Captain America, but I do respect the fact that he’s a born leader and really has zero powers to speak of. Throw in the fact that he carries a shield (totally speaks to the D&D side of me) and would kick ass at ultimate frisbee and you have my vote.
No. 3 The Thing vs. No. 6 The Shadow
I’ve never even read “The Shadow” but I do remember that they made a really crappy movie based on it. That notwithstanding, I’d give it to Marvel’s version of Ol’ Blue Eyes every time. And is there a better catch phrase than “It’s Clobbering Time”? I think not.
FYI, that all meant that I’m voting for The Thing.
No. 2 Wonder Woman vs. No. 7 Spawn
I’ll probably get abused for this, but I went with Wonder Woman on this one. I just can’t get the scene from Scrubs out of my head where Heather Graham is playing Wonder Woman and she ropes The Todd with her lasso of truth. The Todd is forced to admit: “I once had a three-way. And not the cool kind.”
Now that’s power.
KEVIN SMITH REGION
No. 1 Batman vs. No. 8 The Spirit
My prediction to win it all, I think you have to go with Batman here. I seem to think that The Spirit is yet another crappy movie that got made at some point. But that could just be me confusing him with The Shadow. Either way they’re both weak. The Dark Knight wins.
No. 4 Thor vs. No. 5 Buffy The Vamp. Slayer
Sticking with the female thing, I voted for Buffy here. Yeah Thor can come in handy when you have some drywall to put up (get it? he has a hammer?) but Buffy has had a successful movie, television series, and now is living on in the comic world. Not to mention her creator, Joss Whedon, writes some of the best dialogue there is. Gotta go with the pop-culture references. Besides, I don’t think Thor ever had anybody follow HIM home from The Coffee Bean…
No. 3 Silver Surfer vs. No. 6 Popeye
Popeye? Are you freakin’ kidding me? I can name about a hundred more worthy SUPER-Heroes over Popeye. This is just a joke. I don’t even like Silver Surfer and I’m going to vote for him just on principal. They may as well thrown Strawberry Shortcake in here.
No. 2 The Flash vs. No. 7 Flash Gordon
My guess is that The Flash will win this round, though I never got the appeal. He’s really really fast. Great. How do the women folk like that by the way? I mean this guy must got ripped on in the Superhero locker room, right? Flash Gordon had Queen do the entire soundtrack to his movie. ‘Nuff Said.
I’ll be back later with Part 2 of how I voted. Stay tuned!
