The Bro’s Code Year Old Movie Review: Captivity
I have to admit, this movie wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.
No, that’s not a compliment. What I mean by the above statement, is that I thought a “tense chiller” like Captivity would have way more scary, shocking, disgusting moments than it did. Overall except for a couple of sick freak scenes I found the movie to be pretty tame.
On the plus side, the movie doesn’t take long to get going. I’d say within the first five to ten minutes that Elisha Cuthbert is in her cage, and things get going from there. Sadly that’s about the only positive for this film. And hey I’m all for “suspending disbelief” when watching a film, but what well known fashion model thinks to herself, “Hi, I’m a hot blonde model, I think I’ll park my car in a deserted dark back alley that I’ll have to walk to late at night.” Or better yet, “Hi, I’m a hot blonde model, I’m going to a bar and drinking whatever anyone hands me and then walking down a hallway where nobody (except for the bad guy) can find me.”
I mean even the girl who once found herself being hunted by mountain lions should be able to know better than that, right?
Some other random thoughts while watching the movie:
I’ve never did see “Saw” (jeez how do you not make “see-saw” jokes here?) but I have to assume this is just a blatant rip-off. And not a good one at that.
So model-girl is in a cage. A captive. A prisoner! But she’s wearing 10 inch heeled shoes? By choice? I guess they were really comfortable 10 inch heeled shoes.
Spoiler Alert!! This movie just gives models an even dumber name. The guy in the cage next door? Definitely the bad guy. Not even a doubt in my mind that he plants himself there to bang her, and then turns out to be the killer. Update: I was right. About everything.
To be honest, I wish this movie had been either much much better, or much much worse. I’d rather review a movie that goes to one of those extremes instead of being as blah as this film was. Then again, the fact that it tries so hard to be a “tense chiller” and just comes off as “blah” is really all the review you need.
My rating for this film (and all films I review) will be based on how long it took for me to look at the DVD player to see how long I had been watching. In this case it was 32 minutes. The film being 85 minutes running total, means it scores a 32 out of 85.
